Computer Repair
Caller: ‘Hi, our printer is not working.’
Customer Service: ‘What is wrong with it?’
Caller: ‘Mouse is jammed.’
Customer Service: ‘Mouse? Printers don't have a mouse.’
Jokes
Computer problem in Florida - A True story
Technical Support: ‘How can I help you?’
Female caller: 'Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing noises at me so I shut it down.
This morning when I turned it on, the computer started hissing and cracking, then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing.
Technical Support: 'I will have a technician come over first thing this morning. Leave the computer just like it is, so they can find the
Dec 15, 2016
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It seems that social media has only one topic trending days after the Centre announced the demonetisation of Rs.500 and Rs.1,000 notes on Tuesday night. The most entertaining were posts and trolls by people who owed allegiance to neither the pro or anti camp but tried to find the funny side of a new dawn without the ‘big’ notes. One such troll made a mock request to Prime Minister Modi on behalf of Indian expats not to declare Indian passports invalid for traveling to India one fine midnight.
Nov 12, 2016
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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,
from the local Wal-Mart
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Nov 7, 2016
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Two 90-year old guys, Leo and Frank, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Leo was dying, Frank visited him every day. One day Frank said 'Leo, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's softball there.'
Leo looked up at Frank from his deathbed and said, 'Frank, if it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.' Shortly after that, Leo passed on.
May 2, 2016
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The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps onto the bar and eats a very old olive that was sitting there.
The bartender says, "Did you see what your monkey did? He ate that disgusting olive!"
The man says, "Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it."
The man finishes his beer and he and the monkey leave.
A couple days later, the man and the monkey walk back into the bar. The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps onto the pool table and swallows the cue ball.
The bartender says, "Did you see what your monkey did? He swallowed the cue ball!"
Mar 9, 2016
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A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied – “My husband’s cheque book !!”
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’? Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”.
Mar 9, 2016
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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off".
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about the hook"?
"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand clean off."
Mar 9, 2016
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Punctual Gujarati Employees!
A Gujarati Company Owner was asked a Question:
"How do you Motivate your Employees to be so much Punctual?"
He Smiled & Replied:
"It's simple:"
I have 30 Employees and 22 free Parking spaces and 8 are paid parking.
Mar 9, 2016
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